The Closest Bond
by ldyjaydin
Summary: Just saw The Rise of Skywalker and I loved it! Totally shipping Rey and Ben. But what if things had happened just a little bit different at the end (a very non-Disney ending)? Warning: SMUT!
1. Chapter 1

**The Closest Bond**

**Chapter 1**

Rey awoke as Ben's life force flowed into her. It pulled her out of the darkness. A darkness so deep and cold and eternal that she thought she'd been lost in it. His energy, hope and love crossed the bond connecting them, filling up inside of her. Her hand moved to grip his.

In the ruins of the Sith throne room, they stared at each other. Everything they felt and thought passed between their bond, shared. The intensity of it, so much stronger than before, threatened to overwhelm her. Her satisfaction at destroying the Emperor, her grandfather, without accepting the generations of Sith Lords inside her. His conflict was gone. Kylo Ren was dead. Only Ben Solo remained. And love. Her love and his love mingling.

She touched his face and realized just how weak he was. He'd poured so much of his life force into her, he'd barely kept any for himself. A desperate need for him to stay erupted inside her.

She crushed her lips to his, kissing him fiercely. The need for him grew, demanding they not just be connected mentally but physically as well. She very much hoped this would add to their bond, to strengthen him. There just wasn't enough life force to share any more between them.

He kissed her back. His hand came up, his fingers trailing down her cheek. His tongue snaked past her teeth, tasting her mouth.

Her tongue swirled around his. His desire for her flared inside her head. It made her heart race and a corresponding throb started in her core.

Breaking the kiss elicited a whimper from his lips. In one twisting movement, she sat up and swing her leg around. Now she sat in his lap, straddling him. She pressed her body into his as she kissed him again.

He moaned low in his throat. She could feel him hardening between her legs. He broke away from her mouth and trailed kisses across her jawbone to her neck. There he found her pulse point, licking and sucking the delicate flesh. It was her turn to moan.

The throbbing within her increased, driving her crazy. Finally, she pushed away from him, standing up. Her eyes locked with his. Then she ripped off her pants, her shoes tangling up in the cloth. Only a tiny part of her mind registered the rough floor cutting into her feet.

He hesitated for a moment, his eyes still locked with hers. Then, knowing what she wanted, he hooked his thumbs into his waist band, shifted his body forward and pushed down his pants. He waited for her to make the next move.

She practically leapt on top of him. Her lips crashed into his, a hard, passionate kiss. She'd forgotten his weaknesses and almost bowled him over. Her hands gripped his shoulders while his hands circled her waist.

With him steadied, she reached down and grasped his manhood. His lust spiked in her head at the sensation of her hand on him. She lifted her hips and proceeded to impale herself on his hardness.

It hurt. She'd never been with a man before and her muscles screeched as they stretched around him. She winced with the pain, but forced herself to continue to lower herself down on him.

Despite the dizzying amount of pleasure he felt as she slowly encompassed him, it was obvious he sensed her pain. His hands tightened on her waist to stop her. His concern flooded through her.

She kissed him, gently this time. With her lips, she conveyed reassurance to him, that the pain was part of this, that she wanted him still.

His hands remained tight for another moment and then finally relaxed. She kissed him again, hard, and took all of him into her. He hissed through his teeth and she reveled in his pleasure.

Then he shifted slightly and one hand left her waist. He eased his arm between their bodies. Suddenly, she felt him touch her, his fingers probing her center. His finger tip caressed her nub of nerves.

She gasped, her body jerking. Ecstasy drowned out the pain. She rocked her hips back, eliciting more moaning from him.

A rhythm started, slow at first, with her rocking her hips against him and him stroking her. Tension built up inside them, feeding off each other through their bond. Their movements grew faster, faster, faster. Their hearts raced together, matching pace.

The tension finally reached the climax. Rey threw her head back, screaming, as waves of pleasure crashed through her body.

Before she could come down from that high, he went over the edge. His breathing became ragged as his hands gripped her thighs. She experienced his joy as he emptied himself into her.

They held each other in their arms, panting and sweating. Ben touched her cheek. His eyes bore into her for a moment. Then they closed and he laid down upon the ground. A small smile touched his lips. He looked like a little boy falling asleep after getting the best present he could imagine.

Then he stopped breathing.

Rey scrambled off him. "Ben? No…" she whispered. She pressed her hand into his chest, desperately searching for any spark of life. But there was nothing.

Tears streamed down her face. She'd been wrong. Deadly wrong. She thought she could give him some of her strength by physically connecting to him. But what she'd done was to take the little bit of him that he'd had left.

And he'd given it to her willingly.

Under her hand, the mass of him dropped away. His clothes flattened as his body disappeared. She clutched at his shirt, crying into the cloth for what felt like hours.

Then, feeling empty inside, she set his shirt down. She stood up, pulled on her pants and shoes, and left it all behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Several Weeks Later

The ceramic tiles cooled Rey's flushed face as she lay upon the bathroom floor of her quarters. She'd just finished vomiting her dinner and her stomach still clenched in protest. Dinner had been so delicious and she'd been so hungry that she must have eaten too much. Or maybe it was contaminated.

Of course, that had been her excuse a few days ago when she'd gotten sick after breakfast. And again a couple days before that. Although nobody else she'd eaten with had gotten sick. Maybe it really was just her, like a low-grade stomach virus.

She mentally reached out to a presence she'd been feeling for a few weeks. The presence was reminiscent of Ben, although not quite the same. She wondered if it just felt different because he was no longer physically on the same plane of existence as her. Nevertheless, it reassured her.

Ever since the fall of the First Order as well as the Emperor's fleet, a new normal seemed to be developing. They had a huge festival with delicious food, copious drink and people showing off their entertainment talents. Once everyone recovered from party, they got to work rebuilding all they'd lost, especially ships. Ambassadors from planets all over the Galaxy had been coming and going to discuss the future government.

Rey had taken the opportunity of relative peace to research her past. Despite her hate for Emperor Palpatine and what he'd done to her and Ben, her curiosity of where she came from pulled at her. She enlisted C3PO's help since he had extensive knowledge of history.

Apparently, Palpatine never took a wife. It seemed he could never trust anyone enough to give them that much power. However, he did have numerous concubines. The thought of so many women being raped by such an evil, disgusting man made her cringe.

Three known children were on record as being products of those unions. It's believed there were several more children, but they were unconfirmed because pregnant concubines kept escaping. Even so, Rey was convinced her parent was one of the three. How else would Palpatine have known of her existence?

Rey scrutinized the few pictures available of the three children. The eldest son was the only one with a documented name, Curnin. He had red hair and piercing eyes. He also died under mysterious circumstances. Something about a malfunctioning security Droid in the throne room. The youngest was a daughter, with platinum hair and a haute pout on her full lips. She disappeared as a teenager and never found.

The middle child, a son, was the one Rey focused on the most. He had dark hair and a pleasant smile. He'd been killed in one of the Imperial skirmishes with the Rebels. The interesting thing was she couldn't find it stated anywhere which side he was fighting for. She'd gazed into those kind eyes for so long, convinced they were the eyes she remembered.

A coughing fit brought her back to the present. Her throat was raw from vomiting but at least her stomach had settled. Feeling too weak to walk, she crawled out of the bathroom and into her bed. She knew she should go to the infirmary, but she was so tired she fell into a fitful sleep.

She awoke a while later to a new presence in the room. "Leia?"

"Hello, Rey."

Rey opened her eyes and squinted at the hazy bluish figure of her mentor. "Has something happened? Or am I dying? Is that why you're here?"

"Oh, Rey!" Leia laughed. "Don't be so dramatic!"

Rey groaned.

"I'm here because you are carrying my grandchild and it's high time for you to get over to the infirmary to get you both checked out." Leia huffed. "I can't believe you haven't realized it already."

Rey's brain froze. It was like a Droid processing an incredible amount of data. The first thing that computed was the presence that followed her, the one that reminded her of Ben but was different. It wasn't Ben. It was new life growing inside her. A baby. Ben's baby.

Rey started to cry. "I'm sorry, Leia. I'm so sorry. I took his life from him."

Leia's expression softened. "No, Rey. Palpatine tried to take both your lives. My son deemed you more worthy to live on than himself. At least a part of him will survive."

Rey wiped the tears off her face, a bit ashamed of her reaction. "How do I take care of a baby? I've never even held a baby. It's not like I did any babysitting on Jakku."

"There is turmoil now, but the fighting is done. A time of peace is when you raise a baby. You've got good people around who will help you. Including Dr. Styker in the infirmary. Now go down there." Leia stressed the point by hitting the bed.

Rey's eyes widened at the jolt to the mattress. It amazed her the power the ghosts of the force possessed, even able to manipulate objects in her plane of existence.

Leia nodded to her, then disappeared.

Sighing, Rey climbed out of bed and headed to the infirmary.

**XXXXX**

A few weeks later, Rey sat in the chair beside Poe's desk in his quarters. Poe lay sprawled out on his bed, not even bothering to take off his flight suit. The pilot had just gotten back from the Enirian system to establish relations. He wanted to go over everything with Rey right away, but begged her to do it in his quarters rather than some conference room. They had grown close as friends over the months and Rey couldn't help but smile at his request.

Rey had told nobody about her pregnancy, not even Poe or Finn. Dr. Styker had been sworn to secrecy. He'd given her some excellent medication, which controlled most of the nausea.

She popped a few more nuts into her mouth. "What did you call these again? They taste so good."

"Enirian cashews. Apparently a delicacy there, very difficult to harvest. They gave them to me at the end of negotiations. I don't think I was enjoying them quite as much as you are."

Rey paused, a cashew part of the way to her to her mouth. A wave of nausea hit her unexpectedly. She leapt up from the chair and ran for the bathroom, scattering the cashews around the room.

Poe sat up. "Rey?"

She made it to the waste disposal system just in time. As she brought all the nuts back up, she cursed herself for eating something foreign. Her stomach had been so sensitive.

Poe walked into the doorway behind her. "What is wrong with you?"

"I think the cashews were bad," she said as she flushed her sick away.

He shook his head. "I ate a bunch of them on my way back and I'm fine. And you've been getting sick a lot lately. Did you think I hadn't noticed?"

"It's nothing." She stood up and tried to brush by him, but he stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm. They both knew he could never truly physically restrain her. She was much more powerful than him. But she paused at his gesture of concern.

"Let's go to the infirmary and get this figured out."

"I've been to the infirmary already."

"Then what is it? Are you sick?" His eyes implored her for an answer. She could feel his worry.

Rey's eyes fell to the floor. "I'm pregnant."

Poe reeled back as if she'd slapped him. "What? Pregnant?"

She stepped around him and sat down on his bed. She didn't look at him.

"Whose baby is it?" he asked.

"It's mine."

He huffed. "I think I deserve a better answer than that. Unless this is one of those midichlorian pregnancies. I've heard the myth of Anakin Skywalker's conception."

"It's not a midichlorian pregnancy."

"Finn? I mean, we all know he's got a thing for you, but he seems to be getting pretty serious with Rose."

"Not Finn."

"Not me." He tilted his head. "It wasn't me, was it? You know, I did drink a lot at that festival and there are definitely parts I can't remember."

She rolled her eyes, a little smile touching her lips. "It's not yours, Poe. You can take that weight off your shoulders."

He blew out a held breath. Then his mouth ticked up on one side. "It woulda been good though."

Rey laughed. "Never going to happen."

Poe chuckled with her. Then his face grew serious. "Rey, whose baby is it? I'm assuming you know if it's not midichlorian."

"It's Ben Solo's."

Poe frowned, his brows drawing together. "Kylo Ren?"

"No," Rey snapped. "Kylo Ren was dead. I killed him on Kef Bir, right on top of the ruins of the Death Star. Only Ben Solo survived." Rey bit her lip, trying to hold the tears in. But they came anyway. "But Ben didn't survive either. I'm all alone."

Poe wrapped his arms around her, drawing her into a hug. "You're not alone."


	3. Chapter 3

This is it, the last chapter. Warning: more smut! Yeah, I just couldn't resist a ghost sex scene. It's pretty implausible, but this isn't an epic novel. It's fan fic, so why not?

**Chapter 3**

Rey awoke to the sound of cooing coming from her son's bedroom. She yawned and closed her eyes again. He wasn't crying so she didn't really need to get up. The four-month-old infant was allowed happy dreams, especially since he'd only just started sleeping through the night and she was exhausted.

After she'd broken down in Poe's quarters about her pregnancy, it seemed like it only took a few hours before everyone on the base knew about it. Trust Poe to spread the gossip. Commander D'Acy showed up at her quarters first, a bowl of steaming soup she swore took heartburn away. Lieutenant Garam taught her some yoga moves that relieved cramping. Beaumont dropped off a box full of baby clothes that no longer fit his toddler.

She'd fretted about people finding out about her intimate relationship with Ben Solo. Even though she knew about his turn away from the darkness when he saved her life, many people could never forgive Kylo Ren for his list of atrocities. Yet, nobody ever asked about a father or made any comments about Ben. She wondered if Poe had spread a rumor about this being a midichlorian pregnancy to protect the baby from any possible revenge motives.

The only other person she told was Finn. She felt she owed him that. He hadn't taken it well. He'd convinced himself she'd been raped, even when she'd tried to explain what happened after their battle with the Emperor. It put a rift in their friendship, although he kept her secret. They still talked and spent time together, but that now always included Rose. Finn planned on proposing to her. Rey couldn't help but believe her confession had driven him closer to Rose and away from her. But she was happy for them.

A peel of laughter echoed through her quarters. Rey grew concerned. What could be so funny to an infant alone in a dark room at two in the morning? She slipped out of bed and padded down the hall to the room next to hers.

She stopped short in the doorway. He was there, tinged in blue but definitely tangible. Ben Solo leaned over their son's crib and more laughter chimed out.

Rey walked across the room and stood next to him by the crib. Ben straighten and turned towards her. The smile on his face was so big and bright it made her breath catch in her throat. Not once when they were together, not during their Force bond chats or even after the Emperor had been vanquished, had she seen him smile like that. It broke her heart to see it now when he was practically lost to her.

"He's beautiful, Rey."

"Yes."

"What did you name him?"

She sighed. "Everyone knows him as Solo. But his real name is Ben Solo Skywalker."

Ben nodded. "I'm sorry I'm not here with you."

"Ben, don't-"

He held up a hand to stop her. "I know. It was never going to be a fairy tale ending for us. But when I see him, and you, I just wish I was here."

Curiosity tugged at her. "Where are you, Ben?"

He frowned. "It's hard to describe. Peaceful. Fighting doesn't matter there. All that anger that had been inside me, all that rage, it all left me. Just evaporated. But It left a longing inside me." His eyes grew big and his lips pressed together as he searched her face. "A longing for something I could never have."

He took a deep breath, his eyes glancing away as he continued. "Most people there don't have the strength to even see back here. It took a long time for me to regain enough strength to see you. I did get to see a little of his birth." He looked back down at the baby. Their son fought against a yawn, his tiny eyelids fluttering open and closed until they finally closed for sleep.

"I've finally regained enough strength to manifest here, at least for a time," Ben continued. "I wanted you to see me, hear me. I wanted..." He paused as he reached out. His fingers brushed against her hand. "To touch you."

Tears came to her eyes.

"Rey, I can't be with you the way I want. But I can make you feel my love. Do you want me to?"

"Yes." Rey motioned for him to follow her. She didn't want to disturb her son's sleep.

At the door, she glanced back to see him kiss the baby's forehead. "Good night, Solo," he whispered. Then he disappeared.

"Ben?" she whispered, confused.

"Here." His voice came from her bedroom.

The room appeared empty as she stepped inside. He appeared at her shoulder, slightly behind her. It startled her, making her jump a little.

"Rey," he whispered in her ear.

She knew that a spirit had no breath. Yet, she could feel the tickle of air against her ear and down her neck. It made no sense, but it sent shivers of anticipation through her body. "Ben," she whispered.

"Take off your clothes and lay on the bed, " he whispered. Then added, "If you want."

Oh, yes, she wanted. She slipped out of her nightshirt and panties, then lay down on the bed. Her knees drew up and her arms covered her breasts. The last time they'd been together, she'd been in complete control and running on pure adrenaline. Now she felt vulnerable.

Ben stood over her, his eyes drifting across her body. "You are so beautiful." He frowned. "But I sense your discomfort. Is this better?" His clothes dissolved, leaving him standing naked.

Rey reached for him. "Touch me, Ben."

He took her stretched out hand. "Rey, I don't have enough strength to keep touching you and remain visible. Is that alright?" His eyes seemed to be pleading with her.

"It won't matter if I keep my eyes closed."

He smiled that gorgeous, bright smile, the one she never got to see when he was alive. It melted her heart to see it again. Then she closed her eyes.

He gently gripped her ankles and pulled her legs out straight. Then the massaging of her feet began. She gasped as his fingers worked into the balls of her feet, curved around the arch and massaged into her heel. She couldn't believe how amazing it felt to have someone touch her feet. Nobody ever had before.

When his hands left her feet, she almost told him not to stop. Yet, the rest of her body longed for his touch. She didn't feel anything for a minute, and thought about opening her eyes, when his fingers buried in her hair at the back of her neck. He massaged her scalp, moved down to her neck and then her shoulders. The sensations of him kneading her muscles aroused her body in a way she never imagined.

His hands shifted down her chest and cupped her breasts. His thumbs dragged across her nipples, causing them to harden. She moaned as the throbbing in her core sparked to life. His fingers slipped off her breasts.

Lips pressed kisses down her stomach. His tongue briefly dipped into her navel, then his mouth continued to move downwards. At her center, she felt his hands on her thighs, asking permission for access.

She granted it, spreading her legs open. The throbbing inside drove her crazy. She desperately needed him.

He ran a hand over her feminine curls, then his finger probed into the pink folds of her core. As the pad of his finger rubbed against her nub of nerves, a small whimper escaped her her lips. She spread her legs further.

His fingers disappeared only to be replaced by his mouth a moment later. She practically jumped off the bed as his tongue swirled around her core. His arms wrapped around her thighs, holding her down as he worked.

She writhed against his mouth as he lapped at her sensitive flesh. Her heart raced as the tension built inside her. She heard more whimpering and realized it was coming from her own mouth.

As his tongue continued to focus on her nub, he slipped a finger into her opening. Then he added a second finger. He pulled them out, curling them as he did to caress her inner walls.

Fireworks exploded behind her eyelids as every nerve in her body flashed bright. Her back arched involuntarily, but he didn't let up. She screamed as she climaxed. Part of her worried about waking up Solo but the thinking part of her shut down momentarily as pleasure flooded through her.

She panted as she came down from the high. A beautiful peace descended upon her and she almost fell asleep. Then she realized she couldn't feel him anymore. She sat up and opened her eyes. "Ben?"

He appeared beside her, but she could hardly see him. He was more voice than image. "I'm sorry, Rey. I can't stay. It'll be a long time until I build up enough strength to come back. But I love you. And I love Solo. I need you to know that." He faded more, barely even an outline.

Tears ran down her face. "I love you, Ben. I miss you everyday. And... thank you for that."

Ben disappeared, that beautiful smile on his face.

**The End**


End file.
